Reigning in My Inner Whore by @According2Jewls

flirting inbar

I was reading a post by La Petite Provocateur here at ‘Singles Warehouse’ and then flirting inbar 300x208 Reigning in My Inner Whore by @According2Jewlssuddenly here I am writing a post. You see, I could relate to her story. It’s a scenario I know well and it goes as follows: girl goes out with friend, girl drinks, girl meets guy whilst tipsy, girl & guy start talking sex, make out session commences, and sparks fly. It’s an amazing feeling, being high on the flirting, and floating on sexual endorphins. Life is good and you are dead sexy!

This is exactly where, for me, that moral part of me chimes in and tells me to slow things down. I will always put the brakes on the sexy time before I’m horizontal on any surface, or vertical-look there’s no sex, okay! I enjoy a nice round of making out and the sexual tension that builds like crazy when you first meet a guy you click with. What I don’t enjoy is drunkenly falling into bed with every guy who makes my lady parts tingle. This is a personal choice and I don’t judge people who follow their bits to the bedroom but I like to be selective and sober-ish when deciding who ends up in my tunnel of love.

Here is where my plan usually falls to shit. I am a sexual, flirty, and non-filtered woman. If [quote align="right" color="#999999"]I am a sexual, flirty, and non-filtered woman[/quote] I add this to my shots of Jack Daniels and some beers then it turns into a no holds barred sexual free for all. If you strike my fancy and you reciprocate, my hand will be on your leg (above the knee) caressing in slow circles while I whisper something naughty in your ear. I will most likely mention that I’d like to ride your face. It happens! I say that…and no I do NOT know why. There will be a time that my brain tells me to stop but the alcohol fused open book that is Jewels will not be deterred.

This usually leads to me thinking in my head, “Man, I have such a connection with this mixed messages 260x300 Reigning in My Inner Whore by @According2Jewlsguy” and setting up a date for the near future. Sounds good, right? In theory it is. The problem is that I actually want a relationship and inevitably the man I interacted with in my Jack Daniel’s stupor definitely didn’t read that fact when I was all over him within the first hour of meeting him. When I tell him I’d like an actual date, some courtship, and not to jump right into the sack he’s shocked and usually disinterested.

There I am, feeling crushed, again looking at why things didn’t work out. Well, dumbass it’s because you acted like an easy slut upon first meeting him and then tried to take it back. All our lives we learn that first impressions are priceless; “you only have one chance to make a good first impression”, and so on and so on. The point is I had my chance to make a first impression that indicated I wanted to be taken seriously, not as an easy lay, and I blew it.

The take away lesson here is that I need to act according to what I want to attract. If I want a night of passionate fun then sure, go be Jack Daniel’s Jewels. However, if I want to meet a guy who I can actually be in a relationship with then I can’t behave like that. What I portray myself as will determine the caliber of man I attract and in the end I have nobody to blame but myself if I am unhappy with my suitors. If I make my intentions clear, be flirty but not slutty, then there is no reason I should be single for much longer.

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I'm a Psychology major who went on to teach then be daycare director. Now I'm a nanny and forever a writer. I'm currently working on my first novel and running two blogs (links below). I tackle topics ranging from relationships, sex, and dating, to how to be brutally honest and raise the bar on people’s behavior. I take from my own life and profit from my friend’s dating/relationship drama. My goal with all this? To call out women/men for their ridiculous behavior, shed light on love/sex misconceptions, and entertain my readers. You can find me at AccordingtoJewels or at NaughtyNothings You can reach me at AccordingtoJewels@yahoo.com @According2Jewls. Don't forget to "LIKE" my blog's page on Facebook I love reader interaction so don’t be shy.

34 Comments

  • Reply May 21, 2012

    singledatingdiva

    Great first post! Sometimes it is necessary to have a discerning filter if for no other reason than to protect yourself. But calling things as they are is a good first step … live your life and have fun … above all, be true to you!

    • Reply May 21, 2012

      According to Jewels

      Thanks, I think I’m going to really enjoy being here! :)

      I will never be anything but who I am BUT I do think I can tone down my behavior a bit to attract the kind of men I’d really like to be involved with. It’s a tweak not a change.

      • Couldn’t agree more, my bird of a feather. Don’t ever ask us to change (we won’t…and probably can’t!). But, point of the err of our ways…and we can simply adjust our sails a bit. GREAT First post, love. So glad I inspired something so wonderful, and so absolutely thrilled to have you on the team! xoxo La Petite Provocateur

  • [...] The second place you can find me is at Singles Warehouse. I’ve recently become an #SWEXPERT which means that I will be writing for them every Monday. Look for articles at their blog tab about dating, relationships, sex, and all things love related. I’m really excited to be welcomed into their team. Here is my intro from them…head over and show me love by clicking here! [...]

  • Reply May 21, 2012

    Kat

    I don’t think that you should feel too badly about making a bad first impression with these gents. Yes you may have started one way and then changed gears, but I really don’t think that these guys were probably looking for the relationship thing in the first place so you didn’t miss anything. On the other hand, I think even if you acted a little aggressively upon first meeting someone, if they are the right one, then they will be okay with backing up and moving slower.

    Nicely done, darlin’. ;-)

    • Reply May 21, 2012

      According to Jewels

      That’s exactly the point though. By portraying that image of myself I am attracting the wrong guys right off the bat. Know what I mean? Does that make sense? I think we both know I’m not going to be changing, I’m much too fantastic for that, but I do think I can calm down my inner whore just a smidge.

      • Reply May 22, 2012

        Singles Warehouse

        I personally loved “I think we both know I’m not going to be changing. I’m too fantastic for that”

      • Reply May 23, 2012

        Kat

        I do see what you’re saying about putting that out there altogether, and I hadn’t thought about that. It’s sometimes forget that I already know you and how awesome you are so I forget about first impressions. You absolutely are too fantastic to change, and I will kick your ass if you try to. ;-)

  • Reply May 21, 2012

    SingleInMy30s

    I think moving forward mindfully is always a great idea when you’re dating with the intention of finding a real partner. While I agree with Kat that the right man will be okay with slowing things down even if you are a bit of a tiger on your first date, first impressions do leave a lasting impact. I’m sure you can still be fun and the awesome you–even without the Jack Daniels on the first meeting. :) Great post!

    • Reply May 21, 2012

      According to Jewels

      Thanks for the encouragement. I sure hope that I’ll still be fun without the Jack or else it’s going to be one very fuzzy relationship. ;) There is a happy medium, I just have to be better about being there more often.

  • Reply May 21, 2012

    Coach Steph

    Bravo my love!

  • Reply May 22, 2012

    Kage

    Omigod I so wanna meet Jack Danils Jewels ;)

    • Reply May 22, 2012

      Singles Warehouse

      Don’t we all!

    • Reply May 22, 2012

      According to Jewels

      haha, Kage, my love, Jack Daniels Jewels would LOVE to party with you. I’m not sure the US, Canada or even the world is ready for that though. Thanks for coming over to leave me some love, dear.

  • [...] been a serious week so for me as far as writing is concerned, with the exception of trying to tame my inner whore (which could break the record for MOST HITS on a debut post at Singles Warehouse…but only if [...]

  • Reply May 22, 2012

    Random Girl

    Great post Jewels darling! I have a tendency to get a little…forward…myself rather quickly whether I’m drinking or stone sober, it’s just how I am at this point in my life. The key to me not feeling like crap about it is that my intentions are clear and my expectations are low. I can control nothing but myself so I do the best I can with that and see how it evolves. At this point it works for me because I’m not looking for “the one” and am just enjoying the variety of getting to know new people.

  • Reply May 22, 2012

    According to Jewels

    There have been times when I wasn’t looking for a relationship and had no problem just being Jack Daniel’s Jewels all the time but when I’m actively looking to engage in something more serious I think toning that down is a good choice. Took me longer than it should have to realize that. I LOVE that you are out there meeting new people and having a blast though!! LOVE IT!

  • I LOVE LOVE LOVE THIS!!!! its the truth but what i have learned is its okay to let that inner whore out to play every no and again…smilessss

    • Reply May 22, 2012

      According to Jewels

      She definitely is allowed to come out and play sometimes…just not all the time anymore. ;)

  • Reply May 22, 2012

    Ariel

    Jewel what a great read! Lord knows I’ve been there. My only comment would be that you don’t have to necessarily be the good girl all the time to get a relationship. Many of my friends are now girlfriends and wives of men that were “supposed to be” a drunken one-night stand!

    • Reply May 22, 2012

      According to Jewels

      lol My friend married a “one night stand” and happily so. ;) I know I don’t have to be good all the time but toning back if probably wise. No worries…I’ll still retain plenty of cray fun times.

  • Reply May 22, 2012

    Marrie

    You are definitely too fantastic to change! Just being aware that Jack Daniel’s Jewels {a girl I would love to meet BTW} exists can change the caliber of men you attract. Like the saying goes: the mere observation of an experiment can change its outcome. Be who are, be happy, and devour life. Fabulous post, Jewels! Welcome to the #SWEXPERTS team!

    • Reply May 22, 2012

      According to Jewels

      I hope to heck you get to meet Jack Daniel’s Jewels someday. We need a girls drink night. A bit dating bloggers party. :) Thanks so much for the welcome.

  • “If I could turn back time”………. I know I’ve been there! Booze has made too many bad decisions on my behalf.

    • Reply May 23, 2012

      AccordingtoJewels

      Luckily not all decision booze made for me were bad, in fact many were downright amazing. I don’t regret Jack Daniel’s Jewels I just think she could come around a little less in man meeting situations.

  • Reply May 23, 2012

    Sweety Darlin'

    So there I was in the bar and I meet this totally hot chick who is all about let’s hang out, and NOW I find out that you want a full blown relationship?! I thought our thing was just an internet call for servicing type thing?

    Geez now I have to figure out how to actually have a relationship! Cuz your hot and stuff.

    Okay to everyone else reading this Jewels and I have never actually met in real life, and we have a standing joke about being internet lovers. So man take a cold shower now! Sorry no film for you today!

    • Reply May 23, 2012

      AccordingtoJewels

      Aww, sweets, we don’t have to rush into anything but I do think there’s potential for more than what we have now. Hehe. Thanks for stoping by to read and for your comment. I promise that no matter what fabulous man I meet I’ll always find time for you.

  • Reply May 23, 2012

    Guiltless Miss

    Being a female unfiltered is apparently intimidating to the male species. At first they are oddly curious as to how a pretty girl can be so open about sex, know so much about life, and be so damn cool and still single. They have an attraction that must be satisfied and they still have that “Conquer all females” gene. After the initial curiosity is gone, they tend to start to think too much, “If I am this attracted to her, everyone else must be too. What if she leaves me for someone better. I can’t do this!!” So they move on to someone more tame, less brash, and certainly not as much fun.

    The one thing they don’t realize is that beneath that hard core, sexy, strong exterior there is a little girl who just wants to be loved and treated right by one man who can allow her to be herself but who can also allow her to love him with everything she’s got.

    • Reply May 23, 2012

      According to Jewels

      I knew that you would understand but the level of your understanding moved me to almost tears. That is a situation I have found myself in all too often. It’s frustrating because as you know I have a lot of love to give and nobody to lavish it on. That’s not true, I lavish it on myself and if that’s what I’m fated for that is just fine by me BUT I’d love a guy to spoil. :) Thanks for your amazing comment. I cherish you.

  • However, if I want to meet a guy who I can actually be in a relationship with then I can’t behave like that.

    Sure you can. You can behave like that and follow through and still get the guy. I think you’re trying to make this about how men don’t like “slutty” women and how they’re never interested in anything else. You don’t really have anything to back that up other than these guys bailed. They bailed because they felt manipulated and used. Some might have bailed because they wanted an easy lay. But I’d bet most bailed because they felt embarrassed and led on. It goes deeper than just wanting to get laid.

    • Reply June 1, 2012

      According to Jewels

      I never looked at it that way. Thank you for the other side of the coin. Great insight. I wouldn’t doubt that you are right about some of them bailing for exactly that reason. While that was not my intention I can see how a guy may take it that way.

  • [...] enough to accept me into the SWexpert fold. I adore writing for them. If you haven’t read Reigning in My Inner Whore or Never Say No To Sex, please head over to read and comment. While you are there look around a [...]

  • [...] about following me other places and commenting. I’m not at liberty to discuss it yet but my first article at Singles Warehouse had site hits unlike ANYTHING I’ve ever seen before and broke some [...]

  • […] Reigning in your Inner Whore- My behavior sometimes cock blocks myself from finding a relationship type of  guy. Damn Jack Daniels making me all horny and what not. […]

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