Fifty percent of marriages end in divorce
It’s 2012 and OH MY how times have changed…. Fifty percent of marriages end in divorce, people are remaining single way later in life, and singles are consciously choosing non-traditional dating lifestyles. But what does it mean exactly to choose a non-traditional dating lifestyle? Well, one non-traditional relationship choice is to participate in an open relationship. Here’s a question I recently got from a single girl whose new love-interest is introducing her to the idea….
Dear Dating Advice Girl,
I’ve been dating a guy for a few weeks. We’re really hitting it off, but I’m a bit concerned because he keeps bringing up the fact that he’s really against marriage and likes the idea of open relationships. I’ve never been in one before and not sure I want to…should I tell him I’m totally not into it and stop dating him, or should I give it a try?
What do you do when you meet someone that you like, but there is an aspect of his or her lifestyle that you aren’t sure that you are ready to accept? It’s always good to stay open-minded when getting to know someone new as long as it doesn’t go against our fundamental wants, needs, and desires. If being in an open relationship goes against your fundamental wants, needs, and desires….then an open relationship might not be the best choice for you. However, if it does not conflict, you want to satisfy your curiosity, and you’ve met someone who you’d be willing to give it a try with…give it a go. You’ll never really know if you’re into it or not until you try it!
Communication is the key
Communication is the key here. Make sure to have a conversation with your love-interest before you agree to be a part of this non-traditional relationship style. Because by definition there will be other people who enter into the picture, here are some things that you may want to discuss…
1. Would you be the primary partner in the relationship?
2. Are there any things that would be off-limits with other partners?
3. How would your love-interest feel about you dating other people as well?
The fact that your love-interest told you about his preference of being in open relationships early on is actually a good thing. It’s better that he tell you in the beginning of your relationship rather than tell you later on when you’re really invested. At least you know what you’re potentially getting into.
Since you are accustomed to monogamous relationships, an open relationship will be a whole new experience for you. Open relationships work best with partners that are able to communicate openly and take your concerns seriously. Having said that, only do what you feel comfortable with and don’t agree to be in an open relationship if you’re not into it. This relationship style is not for everyone, so be true to yourself when deciding what to do. New relationships should be fun, exciting, and mutually rewarding. If this is not the case, it’s not the right person, not the right time, or not the right relationship style for you. Good luck!
Hugs and love,
The Dating Advice Girl