The Dating Interview
the ULTIMATE job interview
When was the last time you went to a job interview?
Yesterday? Last Week? Last Month? 10 years ago?!
Think again, when was the last time you went on a date?
I have kind of a “far-fetched” notion of what dating is for, because in my opinion going on a date is akin to an interview for a life partner.
Within the last month I have been on a LOT of interviews (actual ones, I was looking for a permanent job).
And what I’ve noticed, and I’m sure you have too, is that in every interview the interviewer is trying to ascertain certain facts about you that make you an ideal candidate for their company. It doesn’t necessarily mean that whoever is hired is the BEST candidate, but the person hired is the best candidate for that company. They mesh with the corporate environment. They have similar ideals and values. They have similar interests, etc…
For example let’s pull out dream-boat George Clooney …
Ok, now on paper you look at George Clooney and any average hot blooded female on the planet would say, “YES – I would marry/fuck/cuddle that man in an instant.”
But what’s perfect on paper is seldom perfect in real life. For instance, as much as I would love to marry Georgie Boy, I seriously doubt we would have anything in common. I doubt he likes quirky for the sake of quirky or cheesy memoirs or dorky band nerd shit. In fact I know I would hate his constant need to pull practical jokes and his cavalier attitude. It would actually drive me crazy.
So, in my opinion, dating is the ULTIMATE job interview.
And it’s for that reason that you should treat dating as such.
You wouldn’t walk into an interview and tell the hiring manager to hold on a moment while you check your texts.
You wouldn’t walk into an interview and not be prepared to ask questions about the company.
You wouldn’t walk into an interview and demand they hire(love) you.
The vetting process for hiring a perfect candidate for a job, should be very similar to the one you use in order to find your perfect match. I’m not saying you need to be 100% compatible, but you should be damn well close to that.
Ask Your Dating Questions
You should have similar hopes and dreams. You don’t know if you do? ASK THEM.
The last thing you want to do is find out five years into a marriage that your hubby-wubby doesn’t want kids if that’s an absolute NEED for you. If they want to retire in Maui, and you can’t stand salt-water and want to retire in the mountains of Sweden, then you might have a problem.
You should have similar sexual appetites. You don’t know if you do? ASK THEM.
How unfortunate would it be to find out the person you’ve tied your chariot to doesn’t like what you like sexually, and doesn’t want to do it? Like if you’re into bondage and thats what it takes for you to get off, and they refuse to even try – you’re going to have a problem.
You should agree on how to achieve and maintain financial security. You don’t know if you do? ASK THEM.
The number one stress in people’s lives is money, bar-none. And if you and your future significant other can’t agree that you need to each deposit 10% in your 401ks and put aside $1000 a year for a safety net, then you are going to have issues. If you cannot talk to your significant other about money and have an open conversation about it, then you shouldn’t be getting married/consider long term investing in this relationship. Granted NO, you shouldn’t have this conversation early on in the relationship, because that’s a little awkward, but before you tie the knot, it’s a conversation that you need to have.
You should agree on how the relationship should work. You don’t know what they want from it? ASK THEM.
People should agree on the basic style of their relationship structure, because there are a lot of different structures to relationships. Nothing is technically normal in today’s society with plural marriages and joined families and sugar-daddies. Seriously nothing is normal – so you need to talk about what kind of relationship you’re looking for be it, a partnership, a doting-one, a polygamous, etc… as long as you agree on it, you should be fine, but you’ll never know if you don’t ask.
The Interview Questions
There are more questions that you should be asking regarding your relationship as you move on into the deeper levels of commitment, and you can find a pretty solid list here.
But what a lot of people in the dating pool don’t realize is that these are questions you need to ask. You need to know whether or not that person across the dinner table is going to be a good match for you in the future.
And yes, love totally plays a part, and you should totally find someone whom you love with all your heart, but just remember as soon as you say, “I Do” you’re tied to that person in more aspects than just sex and cuddling.
So just like a company vets their future employees through round after round of interviews and by a careful consideration of how that person acts to those around them, so should you for the long term significant other in your life.
I’m not saying that you need to start grilling the guy/girl as soon as they sit down across from you at the table, but in the course of conversations over a healthy dating relationship, you should start to delve into these questions and begin your interview process.
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