Dealbreakers, Non-Negotiables and the One Thing You Need to Date by @SSDated

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Dealbreakers.  Non-negotiables.  Must-haves.  Cannot-do-withouts.   There are endless ways to say this thing that crosses every dater’s mind at some point or another.  What am I not willing to live with?

This is my first Singles Warehouse post, and so I feel the need to preface this (for those that haven’t previously read my blog), I am a happy single.  When dating is good, I love it.  When dating sucks, well, at least there’s always tomorrow or the next first date to come my way.  Sure I have my down moments, but here’s the thing:  I don’t care if I get married.  I’m not saying I don’t want to get married and to be honest I’m not saying I do (pun intended).  But what I do know is this, I can picture my life, all 2000  hopefully 80+ years of it, surrounded by friends and family, bolstered by a career I care deeply for, challenged by the everyday task of making the world a better place, and hopefully influxed with a plethora of passionate relationships but without the need for one singular one.  If I have kids, I have kids.  If I get married, it’ll be because it was right with one person and we get to that special point.  But if not, *shrug* no biggie, life is an adventure and I’m just happy it lets me come along for the ride.

So what’s my point?  Well, you see, the only problem with this is that it makes for an interesting [quote align=”right” color=”#999999″]I have only one requirement when it comes to dating.[/quote] relationship with dealbreakers.

You see, if you’re going to spend your life with someone, well shit you better make sure you’re both on the same page about…well…almost everything.  You both don’t have to like chocolate ice cream but if he hates your favorite shows and you can’t stand his…that makes for 40 years of you watching TV in the living room while he watches it in the study.  And as for how you handle money…eeessh…don’t even get me started.

But when you’re just looking for dating?  When you want a Summer fling?  A Winter daliance?  A Spring into Fall romance?  Well suddenly you don’t need so much in common.  The fact that he’s religious no longer bothers me because it doesn’t affect our time spent shooting pool or racing go-karts or making out on the beach like teenagers.  The fact that he likes to take big risks, playing with large amounts of money on the stock market, isn’t an issue of mine as long as he can afford to do fun things with me and go out to fun places with me, it doesn’t bother me that he isn’t open about things like budgeting and debts and earnings.  To be honest, I wouldn’t even care if he was a daily pot smoker; if he could still get it up no problem, smoked on his own time and he still wanted to do fun things with me, I couldn’t care less.

See that’s the thing about dating.  While it makes a great many things easier (i.e. I don’t feel any kind of clock ticking down on me)…it makes things more difficult with the sheer volume of leniency it allows in the candidate department.  And while in theory that can lead to some awesome dating, it also leaves a lot of room for…well…confusion.

Whats My Dating Condition?

Luckily I’ve finally narrowed it down.  To one thing.  One simple little thing.  I have only one requirement when it comes to dating.  Only one singular thing that must be fulfilled.  Just one small little dealbreaker, have it, do it, or you’re out.


Make me laugh.


It’s that simple.


And before you start saying things like but what about physical attraction?  chemistry?  common interests?  etc.

The truth is, if you can make me laugh, like really really laugh…and not just in that way like, you say something, I make a snappy response and we both laugh…I mean like you, on your own, can really make me laugh…your jokes are witty, your banter is snappy, and the rest just falls into place…then you’ve got me, I’m yours for the moment.

But then again, it’s a limited time deal with me.  So I have the luxury (or burden) of only having one dealbreaker.  And it really can be a burden sometimes because if I had more dealbreakers I might be able to screen some of the losers I end up out on dates with because it’s easy to be funny online and to be honest, they all keeping dropping the humor ball in person.


So that being said, what are your dealbreakers? your non-negotiables?  and are they different because of what you’re looking for…dating? marriage? COMMENTS BELOW PLEASE…


If this article gave you the confidence to find your match, try Singles Warehouse today!

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Some people say I'm "weird funny" but I prefer to think of it as "intelligent beyond comprehension funny". I lick people who smell like cupcakes. Follow on Twitter @SSDated. Keep tabs on Facebook. Lurk outside my bedroom window. Whatever works. To read more of my blogs visit Something She Dated

1 Comment

  • May 4, 2012

    Seven Dates a Week

    GREAT post. Being able to laugh together is vital. I have a couple dealbreakers that are absolutes. People who don’t vote – don’t bother even looking at me twice.