I’m bisexual. I know that when most people hear that, they translate it in their heads to something different. Some people think: “She means gay but doesn’t want to say that.” “She means she’s curious about women.” “She means she does it because men think it’s hot.” And then there’s straight men. They think: “Wow, that’s hot.”
It’s tempting to write off bisexuality, especially if it’s something you yourself can’t imagine feeling. I know from experience that it’s a very real thing. I never discovered I was bisexual or even cared to put a label on things when I was young. I can’t remember not knowing that I liked both boys and girls and wanted to kiss one of each, please. In high school, I had a boyfriend for a while … and a girlfriend for longer. He was a tall dark senior, a snowboarder in his spare time. She was a fierce blond pixie, and she could play a saxophone like I’d never heard.
Since then, I’ve dated men and women not in equal numbers, but while thinking more about personality and attraction than gender. My last monogamous relationship was with a woman. My longest-lasting monogamous relationship was with a man. And at the moment, I have a couple of each.
Thinking more about personality and attraction than gender.
Dating both men and women has a multitude of advantages I’m all too pleased to enjoy. I have a more varied and satisfying dating life (not to mention sex life!). I have a far wider pool of single and available folks to choose from. Best of all, I don’t have to pigeonhole myself into any specific group. I don’t have to join single straight women (or single straight men) complaining about the “gender gap” and other stereotypes. I don’t have to join gay men and women in feeling misunderstood and hateful toward the straight majority. I stand happily in the middle, where I can point out the flaws in all of that closed-minded thinking.
Bisexuality might better be called open sexuality.
Bisexuality might better be called open sexuality. We’re open-minded, open to new experiences, and open to following anywhere our happiness might lead us. A few studies recently have shown that bisexuality in women may be biological. The Kinsey Scale has long been in use to describe a spectrum of sexual orientations, rather than clearly delineated orientations. Whether we fall towards one end of that spectrum or the other, or we land smack dab in the middle (howdy, neighbor!), we’re all looking for the same thing, and we shouldn’t let anything other than feelings determine for us what kind of relationships we pursue. I find my meaningful connections wherever my head and my heart lead me, and everybody else should, too.
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