Bisexuality is Twice as Nice by @SevenDatesaWeek

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I’m bisexual…

I’m bisexual.  I know that when most people hear that, they translate it in their heads to something different.  Some people think:  “She means gay but doesn’t want to say that.”  “She means she’s curious about women.”  “She means she does it because men think it’s hot.”  And then there’s straight men.  They think:  “Wow, that’s hot.”

It’s tempting to write off bisexuality, especially if it’s something you yourself can’t imagine feeling.  I know from experience that it’s a very real thing.  I never discovered I was bisexual or even cared to put a label on things when I was young.  I can’t remember not knowing that I liked both boys and girls and wanted to kiss one of each, please.  In high school, I had a boyfriend for a while … and a girlfriend for longer.  He was a tall dark senior, a snowboarder in his spare time.  She was a fierce blond pixie, and she could play a saxophone like I’d never heard.

Since then, I’ve dated men and women not in equal numbers, but while thinking more about personality and attraction than gender.  My last monogamous relationship was with a woman.  My longest-lasting monogamous relationship was with a man.  And at the moment, I have a couple of each.

 

Thinking more about personality and attraction than gender.

 

Bisexual Dating

Dating both men and women has a multitude of advantages I’m all too pleased to enjoy.  I have a more varied and satisfying dating life (not to mention sex life!).  I have a far wider pool of single and available folks to choose from.  Best of all, I don’t have to pigeonhole myself into any specific group.  I don’t have to join single straight women (or single straight men) complaining about the “gender gap” and other stereotypes.  I don’t have to join gay men and women in feeling misunderstood and hateful toward the straight majority.  I stand happily in the middle, where I can point out the flaws in all of that closed-minded thinking.

 

Bisexuality might better be called open sexuality.

 

Bisexuality might better be called open sexuality.  We’re open-minded, open to new experiences, and open to following anywhere our happiness might lead us.  A few studies recently have shown that bisexuality in women may be biological.  The Kinsey Scale has long been in use to describe a spectrum of sexual orientations, rather than clearly delineated orientations.  Whether we fall towards one end of that spectrum or the other, or we land smack dab in the middle (howdy, neighbor!), we’re all looking for the same thing, and we shouldn’t let anything other than feelings determine for us what kind of relationships we pursue.  I find my meaningful connections wherever my head and my heart lead me, and everybody else should, too.

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Single gal up to her nips in the dating pool. Bisexual, polyamorous, clever and confident. Meeting people and looking for the real deal.

4 Comments

  • May 17, 2012

    singledatingdiva

    Very interesting. Well, I personally can’t relate to your experience, but I truly believe people should do what makes them feel good and happy just as long as they aren’t hurting anyone else. Dating both men and women certainly widens the net in the dating pool … heck it makes it a dating lake!

  • May 18, 2012

    Marrie

    *Woot Woot* You rock!
    I look forward to the day when people no longer have to explain their sexuality. If your consenting adults, than what does it matter who you decide to to be intimate with? Why must someone have any god damned reason at all for their gender preference?!? Can’t it just BE? I tend to be at the far end of Kinsey scale { I. Love. Men.} but that by no means limits my ability to appreciate the sexual preferences of others.
    I admire the female form and actually prefer looking at a naked woman over a naked man. Something about the female body {in all shapes/sizes} is beautiful {like art} and for me it transcends my sexual preference. I really don’t give a rats arse what label, if any, someone places on me for my preference. IT JUST IS and those who take issue with it, just need to GTFOI !
    Fabulous post!

  • May 20, 2012

    La Petite Provocateur

    BRAVO! I spent my “let me introduce myself” blog post on this site explaining that, while I suppose I’m technically straight, I find people attractive…NOT gender. You obviously put it much more eloquently than I ever could, and I APPLAUD you. Well-written article on a very important topic. Thanks for sharing! xoxo La Petite Provocateur