God created the garden of Eden, for reasons best known to himself; and from the earth he created a man (Adam) and a woman (Lilith). Lilith was a bit of a nutter and seemed to believe in some thing she called ‘equality’, which meant she had some role in deciding things like when sex happened, which got Adam in a huff so Lilith left. God then made Eve out of a rib which he’d plucked from Adam’s chest (though once that rib was removed we’d expect Adam’s immediate need for a woman was somewhat diminished).
God said unto the man and rib-woman: Do whatever the you want – fornicate, climb trees, throw stones at birds nests, invent sadomasochism; but whatever you do, do not eat from that tree over there. “Which tree?” said the man and the rib-woman unto the Lord
And the Lord said “That one over there”
And the rib-woman said “What that one atop the hill?”
And the lord did verily say “No, not that one, the one behind it and to the left with the dappled leaves”
To which the rib-woman replied “Ah, the brownish one behind the green one and next to the short one, the tree that hangs heavy with succulent fruits?”
“Yes, that’s the one” the Lord did say unto her, “Those are fruits of knowledge. You must never eat of them. I will get really, really annoyed at you if you do.”
“Why not?” said Eve the rib-woman “And if you didn’t want us to eat it, why’d you put it there?” but Adam did shush her into submission.
And anon the rib-woman and the man did fornicate (with questionable levels of consent) and throw stones at bird’s nests, and made crop circles to confuse one another and generally had a lovely time under the watchful eye of the Lord. All the while, in the back of their mind, they were thinking about the forbidden tree.
They ate rabbit and cucumbers lots and eggplants but once (for they did verily taste like vomit), they ate squash and tomatoes and apples; and those things were good, but their curiosity did grow. After they head eaten of every thing, and after they had fornicated in every position they could devise, and after they had spanked each other raw, they did become bored.
With that fucking tree.
What’s the point?
Negative suggestion is one of the most insidious and effective ways of planting an idea in someone’s head, and people do it all day long, every day.
I talked to a friend the other day who was so worried about their partner cheating that she constantly reads all his e-mail, facebook and text messages. I don’t know how patient her boyfriend is, but I could think of few more compelling encouragements to cheat than having a controlling girlfriend, going for a beer and meeting some happy-go-lucky girl at a bar who didn’t even want to know his name.
I coached a woman who’s marriage broke down. She’d once said to her husband “Anything but anal” and after 2 years of S&M, threesomes and roleplaying, he’d become obsessed with the idea of putting it in her poo-chute. He’d developed a habit of asking for anal about once a week, and occasionally just ‘accidentally’ changing lanes without indicating. She couldn’t even get manually or orally pleasured by him any more for fear of some slippery wandering digits.
Not a fan of anal sex? Well… Don’t turn your out-hole into a fascinating tree of curiosity. Saying “Perhaps sometime, not now though, I’ve just eaten” is much more likely to turn him off the idea.
Are you worried about some person who hangs around your partner? Don’t turn that person into a forbidden fruit. You’re far better off focusing their mind on something else than hoping that you saying “Don’t talk to that person” will work in your favour.
And don’t point out your physical imperfections to your partner. They either haven’t noticed (well they have now) or they already had noticed (in which case nothing has changed). It’s boring and annoying and almost deserves a whole ‘nother post.
Focus your mind (and theirs) on the things you do want. The things you do enjoy. Happy things. Sexy things.