Who Pays on the 1st Date? [VIDEO]

Let the man pay…but also let him plan the date…this way, he can control what he spends, and can be in control of the date experience.

Just my 2 cents. Voila!

Laurel – I totally agree! And I like what the other ladies had to say as well.

Let him be the man and let yourself be the woman. He asked you out, he set it up, and he wants to pay for the date – it’s his role, as it has been for ages. Always remember that you’re the one doing the choosing, and he’s the one trying to win your heart – not the other way around. Know that in your heart, and live it!

I agree with the premise behind the piece. Men should, with few exceptions pay for the first date. That said, I think there are multiple mixed messages, both in the video and the blog post.

For starters “Don’t act like a gold digger,” I agree with that statement. But then you mention someone that’s “dating for dinner.” How is dating for dinner not abusing the situation.

For starters, guys should be planning the first date, and many of the dates afterwards. If he can’t man up enough to plan the date, why bother worrying about the check? By doing so, he should be planning an activity, whether it’s dinner, drinks, a club to listen to music, or whatever. He should know how much it all costs, and yes, he should expect to pay for it. That said, I believe that you’ve expressed a bit of attitude about how pleased he should be to have a date with you, that you could have done other things. Guess what — he could be doing plenty of other things to, or out with other women instead of you. The fact is, you’ve both agreed to the date because you’re hoping that you’re both going to want to spend a lot more time together.

And, all of the prep work, it’s probably no different than the work that you’d have done going out with your female friends. The issue isn’t that you put in that prep work, but rather that guys should be putting in more prep work to be properly date ready. And yes, that should include a manicure, a shave, proper attire etc.

And to be frank, I didn’t pay for women because it was expected, because I wouldn’t get a second date, or because I needed to somehow even things up for the effort or cost she put into getting ready for the date. I paid because I wanted to, because I thought it was the chivalrous thing to do, and mainly because I invited her on the date. In 10+ years of dating in NYC, I allowed one woman to pay on a first date. It was because she lied horrifically in her online dating profile. She lied about her marital status, her photos were 7+ years old, and she spent the entire date talking about the husband she just walked out on. I should have charged her $150/hour for the therapy session. If this had come out before we’d ordered, I just would have paid for the drinks and walked out.

This issue reminded me of this joke:

A while back, when Ian was considerably younger, h picked up a lovely date at her parents’ home. he’d scraped together some money to take her to a fancy restaurant.
She ordered the most expensive items on the menu; shrimp cocktail, lobster Patron & champagne.

Ian asked her, “Does your mother feed you like that when you eat at home?”
“No,” she replied. “but my mother’s not expecting a blow job tonight.”
Ian said “Would you care for dessert?”