The Ten Commandments of Online Dating by @SevenDatesaWeek

14 Apr 2012

by Seven Dates a Week

As the token single gal in my groups of friends, people often approach me for advice in online dating. These ten commandments are the things I want to tell all of them.

1. Thou shalt know thyself.

You can’t get good results from online dating if you don’t know what you’re looking for. I don’t mean you need to be looking for a specific type of guy, but a specific type of relationship. Maybe you’re looking for someone to go out with, someone to sleep with, or someone to come home to. Being honest with yourself about what you want is key.

2. Thou shalt develop and adhere to a screening policy.

Is intelligence important to you? Decide not to go out with anyone who made more than one grammar mistake on his profile. If you feel your politics mustn’t clash with your date’s, decide beforehand what you can tolerate and what you can’t. Online dating is a giant pool with tons of fish. Knowing your dealbreakers ahead of time is the only way you’ll be able to sort through and decide which to keep and which to toss back.

3. Thou shalt Google thy dates.

Just like we’re inspired to stretch the truth during a job interview or on a resume, your date might be inspired to fudge the details just a bit. I always Google a date before meeting in person; I start with the screen name and go from there. I’ve discovered all kinds of things, from the four kids he conveniently forgot to mention to a personal blog where he was posting hateful rants about his co-workers. Not everyone is dishonest, and not everyone has something to hide – but some do, and you should know as much as you can.

4. Thou shalt be open to new experiences.

Of course, knowing your hard limits when it comes to dating is just as important as keeping an open mind. If someone contacts you and he or she “just isn’t your type” … go out with them anyway! You have nothing to lose. Don’t be afraid to try new activities, new bars, and new experiences with your date, especially if it’s new for them too! Common experiences help create personal bonds.

5. Thou shalt rise to the occasion.

No matter what might be going on at work or with your friends, and even if the last ten dates you’ve been on have been awful, give your date a clean slate. Bringing baggage to a first date is a surefire way to sabotage things before they even get rolling. Both you and your date deserve to approach each other with clear heads.

6. Thou shalt handle every situation with grace.

Bad service at the restaurant? Heel broke off your shoe? Your date’s laugh is all too similar to Alvin the Chipmunk’s? No matter what, keep your cool. Stressing over unavoidable issues just adds to an already bad situation.

7. Thou shalt be true to thyself.

From your online profile to your get-to-know-you chitchat, projecting anything other than your real self is ill-advised. We’re all looking for someone who will love us, so we have to give them a chance to do that. Nobody can love a perfect facade. Genuineness and confidence are two incredibly attractive traits. Project both!

8. Thou shalt trust thine instincts.

If something your date does or says sends up a red flag, trust yourself. Our instincts rarely lead us astray as we’re meeting new people. And, as always, if something seems too good to be true … it probably is. On the other hand, positive instincts are a big help, too. Go with them, and show your date your true self.

9. Thou shalt not become discouraged.

I cannot stress commandment nine enough. Online dating is like the thrift store. There are some real finds, but you have to sort through lots of junk. Another thing I always tell friends who are getting discouraged is that dating doesn’t improve over time. Dating is one failure after another, until suddenly it’s not. There’s no upswing before the good part. We have to hang in there until it arrives!

10. Thou shalt live happily ever after.

And thou shalt start that happily ever after right now! None of us needs a mate to have a happy life. Make your life as full and happy as it can be, whether or not you’re looking for a partner. We all deserve nothing less than happily ever after, regardless of the circumstances.

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Seven Dates a Week

Single gal up to her nips in the dating pool. Bisexual, polyamorous, clever and confident. Meeting people and looking for the real deal.

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http://www.singleswarehouse.co.uk Jonathan

I love the ‘Google thy dates…’ one. It’s great. And with so much online now you should be able to find out something right?
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