The LDR by @xLa_Bellax

Train PDA
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You know… The Long Distance Relationship

I have always been against these, as for me personally, I don’t want to go on a 2 hour train journey every time I want to see a boyfriend or get a hug or for someone else to undress me and get me ready for bed ;)

Why am I even talking about this you ask?! With online dating you can see where the person lives and decided whether or not you’ll talk to them. I usually ever speak to people within a good distance from myself – I don’t drive so, I guess within bus/train/walking distance.

Well, I’ve only managed to meet two men (outside of online dating) and neither of them live in my city! It’s not just about them though – they’ll probably move on soon enough. It’s the fact that I wouldn’t want to purposely get myself into a relationship when I know I wouldn’t necessarily want be in that situation – I don’t see why anyone would. [Unless you’ve made plans to move to the same place in say… 6 months] [quote align=”center” color=”#999999″]The LDR also throws in a few things that make me uncomfortable; sexting, phone calls and skype.[/quote]

I don’t have skype so that’s all good but the other two are ways of communication that I just am not comfortable with at the moment. I am totally crap at sexting. I don’t like it and I don’t understand why it needs to happen. Replace ‘S’ with the letter ‘T’ and I can do that!

A few of you know how awkward phone calls make me feel. Unless it’s my mum, sister or a close friend; I hate using it. This is a genuine fear and I have no idea where it stemmed from but – oh just the thought makes me feel uncomfortable. I had a phone date once and that was a massive milestone in my dating journey

There are a couple things that seem attractive about the LDR;

  1. Running from the train platform into your beau’s arms and having a massive PDA moment because you’ve not seen each other for 5 days or so – you know, like the films.
  2. Having time to yourself and you don’t have to screech “YOU’RE ALWAYS HERE” because you don’t live in the same city let alone the same house.


These are the only good things about being in a LDR I can think of right now – if you know of any more good points – let me know?

I told one of the guys I’ve been speaking (texting) to that it could be hard for him to take me out because he is a while away from me… his response? “I don’t mind driving 60 miles to come and see you” but I do. In a way it’s really sweet but what if one night I really want to see him? Or vice versa? I am having arguments/debates with myself about this because I think I could actually have a relationship with this guy if he lived here. He says he comes to my city often because he has friends here but then it begs a few questions; how much of him would I see when he has so many friends here? Could I actually have a LDR, how do I say that I wouldn’t be able to handle a LDR and what exactly constitutes a LDR?

Oh my mind is confusing itself!

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I'm 24, live in Yorkshire and live with my best friend and #SWEXPERT Haylee! I'm currently 'shopping' online for my prince and so far haven't found him - you will hear some of the tales of my journey along the way. I love cocktails and a good 'ld pint and am trying to limit my alcohol intake on said dates... Read about the dates I go on and follow me on Twitter. Bella x


  • April 5, 2012


    I think what you’ve just discovered is a boundary that many online daters won’t cross.I chose not to date anyone over 45 minutes away. As I saw it, LDR’s take a lot of patience, trust,understanding, and time commitment…that’s a lot of energy on someone your just getting to know! Dating takes a concentrated effort already; why make it laborious?

  • April 6, 2012

    Bellas Dating Woes

    It really is a massive effort. Maybe if you were with the person before and one of you moved away it would be easier than actually starting a new relationship. When do you know whether it’s worth it?