Not Everyone is Going to Like You by @singlegirlie

rejection
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Not Everyone is Going to Like You

Ooh, harsh words, huh? I bet your momma never told you that, did she? Oh, heavens no. Momma said, “Oh, poopsie, you’re so wonderful and special, anyone would be crazy rejection Not Everyone is Going to Like You by @singlegirlienot to love you!”

Listen, I’m sure Momma means well and everything, but she’s seeing you through her extremely biased mom glasses and is generally just blowing sunshine up your ass.

The truth is, the sooner you learn and accept those seven words up there in the title, the easier time you will have at dating and the inevitable truth that goes with it: rejection.

It took one wise bartender (and more than a couple of vodkas) to make me see this. I was bummed out about some bloke, lamenting over why, why, WHY didn’t he call me? I’m cute! I’m smart! I’m independent! I’m funny! Whatever did I do???

Wise bartender simply said, “Well, not everyone is going to like you.”

Oh.

Well, goddamn.

It’s so simple, and so obvious. Not everybody wants the same thing.

And thank goodness – if we did, we’d all be after the same people.

Example: My girlfriend Gabby likes stocky blond yuppies who golf and discuss crown molding over supper. This type of guy makes me want to blow chunks. Not that there’s anything wrong with stocky, golfing, crown molding-obsessed yupsters, they just don’t happen to tickle my fancy, personally. But clearly, they tickle other fancies. Gabby’s, for one.

Sorry, Ryan Gosling[quote align="right" color="#999999"]Get over it, Ryan[/quote]

No one is exempt from this rule. Not even Ryan Gosling. I know it seems like every woman and gay man alive is creaming their jeans for Ryan Gosling, but guess what? He doesn’t do it for me. Sorry, Ryan. Not everyone is going to like you.

gosling Not Everyone is Going to Like You by @singlegirlie

Maybe you’re a tall blonde and he likes petite brunettes. Maybe you’re a left-winged intellectual and she wants a conservative handyman. Maybe you’re outgoing and gregarious and he wants a quiet, submissive girl. (Or vice-versa, in all of these cases.)

What are you going to do? Dye your hair or change your political views or alter your personality just to attract this person? I certainly hope not. Because sooner or later, the real you is going to come out and your partner is going to see it. And you’ll be pissed off that you ever changed for someone else in the first place.

So the next time someone ignores your e-mail or fails to call you after the first date, don’t call yourself a loser and stick your head in the microwave. It doesn’t mean anything is wrong with you. They just don’t like you. Because not everyone is going to. And that’s okay – someone will, eventually. I promise.

Unless, of course, you’re a total asshole.

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I am a single girl dating in Los Angeles. Sometimes. It’s interesting. If you enjoy snark, penis stories and the occasional F-bomb, mosey on over to Single Girl Blogging to partake in the mayhem. Or find me on Twitter @singlegirlie.

16 Comments

  • April 30, 2012

    La Petite Provocateur

    Single Girlie, Such sage advice for all daters. It applies to so many facets of life (careers, friendships, etc) but, above all, can keep you sane and grounded while dating. Just as you won’t always like everyone you come in to contact with…they won’t always like YOU (yes, even if you are fabulously irresistible). Looking forward to reading more of your work! xoxo La Petite Provocateur

  • May 1, 2012

    Single Girlie

    Why thanks, sweetums! Yes, I think it’s something we all know inside but easily forget when things don’t go our way – and I’ve been guilty of this for sure. Sometimes it takes someone to slap you upside the head with it and remind you from time to time. Once you realize and accept it, things do become slightly easier.

  • [...] I’ve written a post called “Not Everyone is Going to Like You.” It’s a post I’ve been wanting to write for some time, and is probably the best [...]

  • May 1, 2012

    Holly

    Ha! Love this…I needed to read it this past Saturday!

    • May 1, 2012

      Singles Warehouse

      What happened on Sat Holly?

  • May 1, 2012

    Seven Dates a Week

    Such smart thinking! I need to be reminded of this just about every six months or so.

    • May 1, 2012

      Singles Warehouse

      Don’t we all..

  • May 1, 2012

    singlegirlie

    Perhaps we should set a reminder on our calendars:

    10:00 – Meeting with Tim from Finance
    12:00 – Dentist appointment, Dr. Pain
    1:30 – Not everyone is going to like you
    3:00 – Enema

    Could help, no?

  • May 2, 2012

    SingleInMy30s

    Totally agree with La Petite Provocateur…these words of wisdom can be applied to so many areas of our life. Remembering them can keep us from a world of heartbreak. There’s nothing wrong with you, folks…you’re just not one person’s cup of tea. Find people who want to drink you up by the gallons…preferably who are your cup of tea as well. :)

  • May 9, 2012

    Clint

    Or, instead of accepting that premise, you could live dating life the way I’ve traditionally scene it, through wonderfully-oblivious rose-colored glasses by saying “No One’s Interested” and enjoy single life. The irony of that is once you do find someone, you’ve got to totally reverse that Frankenstein switch to remind yourself you can’t be as free-wheeling with comments toward the opposite sex as you once were in your single cocoon, which I still struggle with a LOT.

  • May 16, 2012

    Dazediva

    Love this post. Its about time people come to terms with the fact that not everyone around you and that you meet will actually like you (the way you like them). Once we learn to accept that – life would be a lot easier.

    Honestly, if everyone liked everyone – we would be living in a fantasy world and possibly singing la-la-lalalala (smurf song).

    I’d like to add that once we learn to like ourselves (which a lot of people don’t – they always find a fault or a flaw) we will project that on to those around us and thus increase the chances of others liking us back (again not necessarily in a romantic way but you get my drift)

  • May 18, 2012

    Courtney Rundell

    Sh*t, really? Dammit. I really want everyone to like me when I sooo don’t like everyone. Not a good head space to be in. Guess that’s why I gave up my career as an actress :)

    I’m going to take this advice with me to the writing desk. Yup. I still get so shattered over mean comments on my blogs. It takes a vagina (not balls, guys are such sissies) to admit that I get SPUN OUT.

    Working on it though… thanks for your wisdom, as always, Single Girlie.

  • May 21, 2012

    singlegirlie

    You guys all rock. Just remember, *I* like you. That really should be enough.

    :D

    • May 22, 2012

      Singles Warehouse

      *I like you also…

  • May 22, 2012

    James Francis

    In Christian circles the guy that “everyone” likes is Tim Tebow. But how many girls would actually like him if they actually knew him and lived with him? I think this goes both ways, not every guy is going to like you BUT also not every guy that is popular is really a likable guy or a good guy for what you want. Good work – nice site.

  • [...] originally wrote this post for Singles Warehouse last May, but I think it’s probably the best tidbit of advice I could give to anyone dating, [...]