Is it really that wrong that I stole my work colleges scissors from her draw, shoved them up my top, quickly made my way to the toilets and trimmed my lady garden while at work? I did clean them with hot water afterwards and replaced them the very same day? And, it was an emergency! I was not expecting a random text message asking me if I wanted a ‘lift home from work’! I was not sex prepared. Oh boy, I even had my full belly warmer knickers on too! I did try to cut them with the stolen scissors but the poor things couldn’t handle both jobs.
Do I smirk while she is using them at work…no, course not! I feel very sorry for my actions. Well kind of, as they did quite a good little job in the end and I think I need to award them little scissors with a bravery award and knowing the meaning of remaining 100% silent.
But really! I cannot be bothered to go to work everyday being body prepared for a sexual encounter just in case something pops up! I would be knackered even before I began a working day and who really thinks sexy thongs are comfortable while sitting on your bum for a full eight hours?
I normally stick to comfortable big knickers
Maybe if every other day I was jumped in the stationary cupboard by the office hunk while looking for a stapler then yes I can see the appeal but as the most I get, on a average day is Simon trying to lean over me and accidentally on purpose rubbing his belly on my face then I normally stick to comfortable big knickers and the warmth…and face wash!
So yes this text caught me out and I panicked just a tad! I do realise that I could have said no and I wasn’t forced into having a booty call but sometimes that word does slip [quote align=”right” color=”#999999″]them poor scissors[/quote] my vocabulary and mind. I was sat at work dressed the complete opposite of how I would be dressed if I was going to a fully prepared booty call and I had a choice to make. Of course I made the wrong choice and went for it…them poor scissors.
Looking back I made a super job down stairs and with the little I had in my handbag I improvised pretty well! Who knew that eyeliner can be an eye shadow, a lipstick can be a blusher and the perfume sample pages in magazines actually smell ok with a bit of rubbing! I might have looked like a sun burnt panda with a terrible skin rash but I thought I passed alright!
After all my efforts the outcome wasn’t anything to write home about and he did not appreciate my efforts. I think I could have got in the car in a wetsuit and smuggling a Jackson Five bush down stairs and he wouldn’t have cared. If there is a next time I will not make such an effort. I will even grow my body hair even longer just to spite him then on the next sex occasion I will just hand him some goggles and a hedge trimmer and tell him to knock himself out!
The things I do for men or sex sometimes!
Should I really be booty call prepared more often or just be comfortable and tell him to bog off till I am ready? Maybe I should put together a booty call emergency kit and keep it in my handbag so I am always ready to go? My kit could consist of;
- Scissors – of course
- Razor and shaving foam
- Body cream
- Fem Fresh wipes
- Make up
- Clean knickers or a sexy lingerie set
- Goggles and hedge trimmer – if the first two are forgotten
Might be a bit heavy? Cor that is a lot of effort to go too! I think I am too old for booty calls now and if you wish to have one with me then you need to make an appointment and give me at least 24 hours notice.
But then where is the fun in that…
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