Cute little red booty shorts
It’s 11pm, and I’m settled in to my bed (in cute little red booty shorts, a white top, and knee-high sports socks…just for a good visual) staring at a mostly-blank computer screen as I silently debate what my very first Singles Warehouse blog post should be about. After all, this is momentous occasion. I mean, sure. I’ve been blogging for some time now, but that has always been to a much smaller and intimate audience comprised mostly of friends, family, and friends-of-friends. 300+ regular readers is nothing to sniff at, but it’s hardly a big deal. But, Singles Warehouse? This is the big time for a blogger like me. And I’m not taking this responsibility lightly. Trust me.
But, like I said, I feel like I’ve been at this for a while so introducing myself now almost seems a little (okay, a 
LOT) silly to me. Not because I feel like you should already know who I am (let’s be honest…that’s obviously not the case). Still, it’s been so long since I’ve had to introduce myself to a new audience of beloved readers that I am almost speechless. I mean, where do I even begin? I have a whole history of dating chronicled elsewhere that you, dearest SW readers, don’t know about (lapetiteprovocateur.blogspot.com, if you’re feeling adventurous). This almost feels like a reintroduction of sorts….
So, I suppose I’ll just from the beginning. It only seems fair 
Hello, dearest readers. My name is La Petite Provocateur, and I am a young, single and sassy kiss-aholic
recovering from a long-term and potentially life-threatening struggle with serial monogamy in the familiar comfort of my apartment in (sometimes) sunny San Francisco, California. Originally from Massachusetts (I moved to California for a relationship…go figure), and I am a working professional who loves laughing loudly, kissing deeply, loving passionately, and snuggling softly. Turn-ons include a sweet smile, goofy laugh, strong hands, soft lips, and tattoos. I absolutely always check out a man’s ass in jeans, and a deep voice definitely sends shivers down my spine. Chivalry and kind gestures go a long way with me, too, so a man who sends handwritten notes or drops by with flowers will always win my heart. Oh, I love high heels and short shorts. No one ever complains.
I love the rough and rugged stability men but also appreciate the softness and subtlety of women. I’ve only ever “been with” men and consider myself to be “straight,” but, if I’m being honest, I truly feel like my sexuality is quite a bit more fluid than that. In other words, I’ve been known to make out with girls. Sometimes. But, I always enjoy it. Why? Because I find people sexy. I find minds attractive. I believe genuine chemistry is intoxicating. Man. Woman. White. Black. Tall. Short. Skinny. Plump. I’ve been attracted to and probably made out with them all. So, don’t try to put me in a neat and tidy little cubby, dammit
This is the first time I’ve been “single” since I was 19-years-old, so you can understand why this specific bout with monogamy was particularly alarming. You see, I went from one college relationship that lasted almost four years straight in to a second adulthood relationship that lasted roughly three years. At one point or another, I lived with each of these partners, so the extent of my serial monogamy was quite extreme. I lost so much of myself as I battled this “illness” that, once I started to recover, I felt the lingering aches and pains for a few months. And, even though it was healthier for me to step away from this “illness,” it didn’t make the decision to do so any easier. But, there came a time when I had to be honest with myself about what I wanted and needed in my life…and space and a more emotionally available partner was exactly what the doctor (and my heart) was ordering.
So, never one to deny doctors’ orders, I began the process of recovering from my serial monogamy by jumping right back in to the dating pool…with all of the nasty little sharks. I was unprepared, ill-equipped, and still a bit sick from years of being a “we” but never really a “me.” And, I sank. Fast. And Hard. I sensed that I was drowning on so many of my dates, and I felt suffocated and overwhelmed by the men I was encountering. Waves of self-doubt and worry washed over me. And, the more dates I went on, the worse it got. Though, clearly, the guys I was dating didn’t mind or notice since the requests for dates never really stopped. Still, I knew it wasn’t fair to me or to the men I was dating to continue on as I was. Plus, my decision-making was just getting increasingly worse, so I knew it was time for a game changing shift in the plan.
Then came the 2 month dating detox. I went cold turkey for 60 days. No dating. No kissing. No snuggling. No sex. I could masturbate and flirt, but that was really it. At first, I was in agony. I’m a relatively affectionate person, and I was so accustomed to physical contact that the immediate lack thereof was jarring. There were many sleepless nights. Many cold sweats. Many sexual aches and pains. And, yet, I stuck it out and saw it to the end…and came out the other side a much more dateable woman.
For once, what I wanted became clear to me. I knew where my previous relationships had gone wrong, and I understood the steps that I had to take to avoid those mistakes in the future. It suddenly became clear that I was now ready for real love (the all-consuming, this-is-it, mother-of-all-loves kind of love), and I could envision and feel more accurately what it was that I desired in a partner as well as what it was that I brought to a relationship. My heart felt full, and I was suddenly open to all of the wonderful opportunities for love that were before me.
And that, dear readers, brings us to present day.
I am ready.
I am present.
And I am dating.
Tune in to hear more about my past horrific dates (you won’t want to miss these!), follow me on my present dating voyage, and check in to get my thoughts on love, lust, and lingerie. I am honest. I overshare. And, I take questions. So, buckle up and get ready. I’m taking you along for this ride….
xoxo
La Petite Provocateur
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Open-minded and brutally honest oversharer with a weakness for sweet smiles, loud laughter, drive, passion, and tattoos. Oh, and a great ass never hurt, either.
As a New England native who is now living the California dream, I have a great blend of East Coast and West Coast mentalities. And, while I am (happily) in a committed relationship nowadays, I have plenty of dating and relationship stories and insight to share.
Check out my blog to read some oldies but goodies or, better yet, track me down on Twitter Twitter and Facebook to keep up with latest shenanigans. xoxo
xoxo
La Petite Provocateur
Latest posts by La Petite Provocateur (see all)
- The Holiday Gift Giving Guide for Lovers by @LaProvocateur – December 12, 2012
- Four Ways To Feel Sexy For A First Date by @LaProvocateur – November 28, 2012
- Relationship Rule #1: Keep Sacred Thy Bathroom Habits by @LaProvocateur – November 14, 2012
- The Rules For Romance When You Have Roommates by @LaProvocateur – October 24, 2012
- Let’s Talk About (Mind-Blowing) Sex…With Spencer Burnett by @LaProvocateur – October 10, 2012
