10 Signs Your Online Date Could Be the Real Deal…
Online dating is probably the oldest new thing around. As millions flock to the internet in hopes of becoming that 1 person out of 5 others (you’ve seen the commercials) who’ll begin a relationship online, sometimes connections and communications can seem somewhat surreal. After all, until about 12 seconds ago, the person you’re now sharing “LOL’s” with didn’t exist, and before that, they were simply a picture and profile, vying for your attention with quirky little statements and amusing anecdotes.
So, how can you know if your online date could be the real deal? Well, here are a few signs (well, more like ten) to help you get to the heart of the matter.
Sign Number One: The fact that you met online doesn’t matter
When you meet someone online, it is safe to say that many people are cautious, even skeptical about the connection. However, when it’s real, it doesn’t matter where, or how you met, it is only important that you know and accept the connection that you obviously share.
Sign Number Two: They’ve passed all your tests.
C’mon, you know you have a few choice questions for anyone wanting your time, energy and emotions…right? Well, not only did this person take your silly little “tests,” but that they have passed with flying colors. Well, honestly, they may have totally flubbed up a few of them—but the fact that you are still willing to give them passing grade is a sure sign that you are smitten.
Sign Number Three: It feels right
That feeling in your gut is important–it means something. Using your intuition can be the difference between life and death–or in this case, love and death (well, you know what I mean). Now, don’t convince yourself that this is something that it’s not, but don’t disregard that this is something. If your gut is saying good things, then go with it….at least until it says something else—which it never might.
Sign Number Four: You cherish this connection
Obviously, this person is doing something to you…and you like it! (Just nod.). Whether it’s a mental connection, an emotional connection or both, you’ve begun to keep this connection in the forefront of your mind. You can even begin to see how you and he/she become, “we.” In conclusion, this is about loving
what this person has brought into your life! And that’s okay!
A caveat: This has absolutely nothing to do with a physical connection (FYI).
Sign Number Five: You can be yourself…finally!
This is definitely a doozy, because most of you send out your representative for at least the first 6 dates (maybe more).
What’s a representative? It’s the person that you become so that the person sitting across the table will want to get to know you….or so you think.
Well, now you can bid that nonsense a fond farewell because this person has seen the real you, and guess what? They are still here! *Exhales*
Besides, at the end of the day, the representative may have gotten a second date, or even a third and fourth, but since you’re looking for something a little more substantial (I hope), I recommend sticking with the person who has grown to love that annoying little habit of yours…yeah, that one.
Don’t you love that? Just as you thought you had met someone significant on that other site or at that party your friend drug you to, someone (this someone) pops up in a random search of compatible individuals, and has completely turned your life upside down! While it’s easy to get caught up in the whirlwind of someone new, you know in your heart of hearts that this is no whirlwind! In fact it’s better than you ever imagined, it’s authentic and it pales greatly in comparison to that farce of a relationship you orchestrated (yes, I said “orchestrated”) last year.
Sign Number Seven: They feel the same way…and told you so.
We’ve all met people who will say anything to get anything, right?
And, for a moment, you might have considered that this person was doing the same thing. But, again, we have to refer back to that gut feeling. If your intuition says that they are lying to you, then perhaps they are, or perhaps you’re once again attempting to sabotage a budding relationship. You be the judge.
But I digress…
When someone expresses genuine and authentic feelings for you and to you, and you have no choice but to believe them, then perhaps you need to accept that you could be dealing with the real deal.
Sign Number Eight: You want to shut down all of your profiles…
If you find yourself reluctantly checking your online inbox and deleting your notifications from your favorite dating websites, then perhaps it’s a sign. A sign that you have finally found what you’ve been looking for.
Now, don’t be too hasty with this, because in this midst of all these authentic emotions, and this genuine connection we have to be a little smart. (And by smart I mean that we have to leave our options open—even if the last thing that we want right now is an “option.”) Whatever you do, know that there is nothing wrong with how you feel nor with getting to know this amazing new someone who could be your next significant other.
Sign Number Nine: You are on the same page.
Don’t confuse this with, “we agree on everything,” because that concept isn’t accurate, nor is it normal. What I mean is that in terms of building a relationship, sharing a life, and all the other facets of your existence that you care about most, the two of you are on the same page. There are commonalities there….get it?
Just so we’re clear, this is not something that you can assume. This comes from spending time with each other having deliberate and detailed conversations. For you to do this, it will require you to be (pause for dramatic effect) transparent…vulnerable…open…and lastly, honest–although not necessarily in this, or any, particular order.
Sign Number Ten: No matter where you two are…everything is the same.
It’s inevitable that when you meet someone online, you will move through a progression that begins with talking on the site, talking off the site, and meeting in person. The last and final sign that this could be the real deal is that nothing changes, whether you two are face-to-face or Skype-to-Skype.
Consider the following: Attraction begets Interest begets Like begets Intense Like.
No, I didn’t lose my train of thought, I am introducing my concept of “The Fundamentals,” which explains how a relationship progresses. Now back to my point.
No matter how you communicate and connect, the energy that initially attracted you to this person doesn’t waver…you continue to grow from attraction, to being interested, then into like, and then intense like, and you share expressions, experiences, and emotions with each other throughout these stages. You have yet to become bored, and neither of you shows signs of disinterest.
A good friend of mine once told me that she didn’t know everything about her now husband when he proposed 11 years ago (and, how could she?). But she knew enough to know that she wanted to keep learning about him for the rest of her life.
Perhaps this is the beginning of your love story…this could, in fact, be your real deal.
One last thing, and we’ll just call it “Sign Number 10.5”
You are scared to death that everything you ever wanted has just waltzed into your life, and nothing will EVER be the same again!
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