Online Dating 101: Safety First!

Written by @Emily_Sixx

The arguments against online dating are numerous, to say the least, but the most common one I hear about has to do with a woman’s safety.  And as much as I’d like to say otherwise, unfortunately that’s an argument that will not be going away any time soon thanks to our fear-driven media and society.

Could it be that the thirty year old Chiropractor you’ve been chatting with for the past month might actually be a fifty-seven year old ex-convict with a taste for blood?  Anything is possible! But I believe it is much more likely to look out the window right now and find John Cusack holding up a Boombox playing “In Your Eyes” by Peter Gabriel.

Did you look?? No Cusack Boombox serenade? I thought so!

Now, I’m not saying to throw caution to the wind and not take any precautions when meeting someone in person for the first time.  You most definitely need to be careful and I would like to share a few tips with you in order to make your first physical encounter a safe one.

Tip #1: Make sure you have a recent photo

Before even agreeing to meeting anyone in person, you need to be positive that they are who they claim to be on a physical level.  Make sure to have them send you a photo through their phone doing something you’ve requested, like making them stand in a particular pose or holding up a piece of paper with your name on it.  If they claim the camera on their phone doesn’t work suggest they web cam with you. If they cannot do either, I would suggest not moving forward with the date.

Tip #2: Meet in a public place

Always make sure that your first date with anyone you meet online is in a public place; mall, bar, restaurant, etc.  Whichever one you do, make sure it’s somewhere relatively busy where there will be a lot of eyes.  No matter how cool a person may seem via email or over the phone, do not ever go to their house or one of their friends’ parties or anything of the sort before you really know who they are.  Though some men may be great actors, for the most part your gut instinct and the chemistry you may or may not share with that person will be able to guide you in deciding whether or not that can happen on a future date.

Tip #3: Cover your steps and have a back-up plan

Never go off on a first date of the online kind without letting someone know where you will be.  Advise someone of the exact location, time, the name of the person you’re meeting, and if possible send that someone a picture of your date.  You can never be too sure and it’s always better to be safe than sorry.  You may also like to consider having a back-up plan. Let this person know that if you text them with the safety word (i.e. “Turtle”) that it is their cue to call you in a panic and demanding you come help them out with something immediately.

Tip #4: Always carry protection

For the ladies with a dirty mind, no, I am not talking about condoms!  Even though that is something you should always carry, you should not be getting down and dirty on your first date!

What I am talking about here is personal protection; Pepper Spray, Pocket Knife, Taser, or whatever is legal in your part of town.  Personally, I’ve always carried pepper spray on me.  It’s on my key chain and ready to rumble if there is ever a need for it.  Granted, in the seven years that I’ve made this part of my attire (and I do replace them frequently for freshness sake), I have never had to use it.  I’ve come close, but it’s never had to be done.

At the end of the day, ladies, we all need to be careful.  Never assume that anyone can be trusted until they have earned your trust.  Following each of these steps will definitely assure your safety, which is key.  Whether or not the date is an overall success is totally up to your chemistry and the powers that be!

For more on Emily, read her blog: www.EmilySixxRants.wordpress.com