A Metaphor for Relationships: Look where you’re going, not what you’re holding onto by @amyecharles

As a Creative Writing graduate I have a bit of a thing for metaphors. An obsession, if you will, which forces me to see all things as a metaphor for something else in life. This obsession comes mostly alive whilst I’m at work. Now, having been a waitress for just under four years I’ve been subject to many horrific accidents, including pouring boiling hot gravy down some old lady’s dress for one. At my first job I was constantly tripping up, smashing glasses, and spilling anything runnier than bread. I’ve come to realise, however, this is all because of a little trick that I haven’t learnt up until recently. (Sorry, I appear to be going off on a tangent here, bare with me as I do have a relationship point to make linking to this!)

At my new place of work there isn’t much room to do all the running about which is required to satisfy customers, and the narrow staircase that leads to the kitchen is an epic tragedy waiting to happen. There we are, carrying five cups of boiling coffee up one arm, jug of milk on our heads and pots of sugar attached somewhere in between, running around like blue-arsed flies making sure not a drop is spilt (not quite literally on our heads, but fellow waitresses can understand my exaggeration here). At first the idea of doing all of this petrified me, but early on I was told -

‘The trick is never to look at what’s in your hands, just watch where you’re going and you’ll be less likely to make a mess.’

At first I just couldn’t believe it – are you mental? What if something becomes loose and I don’t catch it in time?

It took a while, but eventually I saw just how much more balanced I was when I did this. And that’s when my metaphorical thinking kicked in – why hadn’t I listened to this similar advice whilst I was with my ex’s?
You might be asking how I could possibly compare a boyfriend to a cup of coffee, but think about it; coffee can take different shapes depending what container it’s in, some come in glass cups that let you see inside, allowing you to know exactly what you’re dealing with. Others hide away more in taller containers, making the liquid look darker and obscure. Either way, if not treated with caution both can spill, scold, and make a great deal of mess.

I remember whilst I was with the first guy, and probably only guy, I’ve really fell for, just how many times I overlooked all that was going on around me. I was too busy concentrating on the person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with – as far as I was concerned. So many people told me to watch what I was doing, ‘this guy isn’t treating you right’, they’d say. Many told me he was cheating on me, even one of his own friends!

Of course before long, because I wasn’t watching or listening, I tripped. Hard. And I did a lot more than cry over spilt milk. Glass was smashed and things were burnt, and I was made to look like the idiot. If only I’d paid attention to what was going on around me instead of that moron I was holding onto with all my might, in fear of loosing grip.

I know it’s hard to hear girls, especially when you believe he’s ‘the one’, but take a look around. If you hear rumours, listen, if you think something isn’t right, pay attention. Sometimes the trick is to take someone else’s advice, if only for your safety!

Peace and Love from your Yorkshire Monkey

Follow Amy Charles on Twitter at this address -

http://twitter.com/#!/amyecharles

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Yorkshire Monkey

Born and raised in West Yorkshire. Day of birth – 6th November 1989. Related to loving and kind people, but perhaps a little insane – during my three years studying English Literatire and Creative Writing Dad thought she was doing a degree in reading and drawing pretty letters. ‘Writing letters creativley’ were his words. Calligrahpy is what he meant, but alas, this is a subject I did NOT partake in. Studied at Lancaster University, where I met many wonderful people. Very lucky to find another who obsessed over Jane Austen as much. Only had three jobs in my twenty-one years of life, all working as a waitress, which is also my current job. Being able to carry five glasses in one hand is a rare talent, apparently… Other than this I am an avid admirer of the visual arts and love to write poetry. In my spare time you will catch me painting, sketching, writing or taking photos. When I have spare time of course, serving people food I can’t afford to buy myself has taken over most things, along with volunteering. I have done more volunteering than I care to admit, currently I am on a specialist placement at the Theatre Royal in my home town.

My parents believe I find it hard to accept working for actual money.

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