The Break Up

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This time last year I was planning to have my heart ripped out by my first love of 2 years. He was leaving for university at the end of September and we had decided that long distance is a relationship destroying, affection draining monster that is out to get you and your loved one.

I’m glad we broke up because I did not want to become obliged to stay with my boyfriend just to prove a point or even simply because we’d been together for so long. We ended on good terms and even though I’m still a little bit in love with him (as one usually is with that first and all-encompassing love business), we are still pleasant and unawkward and friendly and everything else that coincides with trying to pretend you haven’t seen each other very, very naked. Even before I had a taste of my own medicine, I was opposed to going to university and staying in a relationship.

However, I’m not saying it couldn’t work; I’ve seen it work. Despite this I still get the impression that this is a rare occurrence. I met a guy a few months ago when visiting a friend who was already at university. This guy summed up the maximum extent of relationships whilst at university fantastically; whether it was started at home or during term time:

“When you are in a relationship whilst at university; it is ALWAYS semi-long distance. That’s just what it is.” He went on to explain that if you have a boyfriend/girlfriend at home; you don’t see them during term time. Seems pretty obvious right? But if you gain a boyfriend/girlfriend whilst AT university; you probably live on the opposite ends of the country and it probably isn’t worth the travel fees.

You’re about to start a whole new ERA. I know it hurts to even think about it, and trust me it hurts. But it’s so much better to not try and extend the pain. A perfectly depressing metaphor for this dragging out of emotional grievances. Say you had to choose between getting shot dead on the spot and being slowly hacked to pieces. Any sensible person would choose the quick and easy death rather than a slow and agonising period of knowing you’re going to die eventually.

Wow, I am a cheerful gal aren’t I? Some people think that it’s holding on that makes one strong; but letting go, biting the bullet, is most often the best thing.

My solutions to this crisis that hits the teenage hearts like a punch in the face every September are these;

1. Get a variety of friends with benefits to sleep around with for term time and another few for holidays.

2. Fail your A levels so you don’t have to worry about this emotional turmoil.

And if the first two are not favourable;

3. Marry her if she’s that special.

Stay Sexy


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1 Comment

  • August 31, 2011

    Matt Hollander

    I fell madly in love with a girl in the last two years of school and we decided to try and give the long distance option a go. She was left in Surrey with another year to go at school and I was off up to uni at Durham. This only lasted a term before it was all too much, typical.

    Then later in first year I met another girl at university and we started going out. We even went on to live in the same house in second year and had an incredible relationship, though when it came to home time at the end of term things became even harder. The distance at home was not too bad at all, she was only a half hour away by car but things just never were quite right at home. During term, things were amazing, we practically lived like a young happy married couple. Though sure enough this ended with the ending of second year, admittedly being my fault.

    So, whether you are in a semi-long distance relationship, relationship where you both spend term and hometime close or whatever, things may still always turn out for the worse. Just make sure you both communicate about what you want and what you are thinking else it really is doomed to fail.